THE POWER OF A…

SINCERE SORRY, DUCT TAPE, & SOME GENUINE CURIOSITY…

Today, I was inspired by my wife in an unsolicited coaching session, (My wife Mary coaching me…)

She said… “Joe, you have some past relationships where you haven’t totally forgiven people, and this is a reflection in the way you judge yourself…”

I first felt disturbed, uncomfortable, and was ready to defend my situation… then I took a breath, a deep breath, and said to myself…

“Joe, you got something to learn… DUCT TAPE your mouth… BE CURIOUS to understand Mary’s point of view and listen in!”

Long coaching session short, Mary inspired me… that to reach my next level of success in relationships, including the one with myself, that I must do my part to forgive people, and heal the burnt bridges of the past…

I realized in that moment… 3 people from the past few years, where the relationship ended in an abrupt way, that I personally felt through reflection… I didn’t do my very best on the way out.

Through taking personal responsibility, I realized I didn’t take the time to understand the others’ point of view, therefore judging them, by assuming my point of view was right, and just.

I then took ACTION, and called all three people Today, this morning, Friday, Oct 7th. I just got done with all 3 conversations, and was inspired to share the results —

Here was my strategy… & (script) A little nervous, (Ok… maybe even scared) not sure how the conversation was going to go… I wanted to have a basic strategy to stick to — Here it is, and by the way… it worked like magic…

1. SINCERELY SORRY.

Call with the Intention & Tonality of being sincerely sorry for your part… “Hello, (NAME) It’s (Joe-Syverson), I wanted to simply call and apologize for the mistakes I made in the past in our relationship, if I could go back in time, I would do things differently. I realize now, I didn’t take the time to understand you, and I acted in a very egotistical way, especially near the end of our relationship. I am very sincerely sorry, and hope we can at some point be cordial, or even be friends again… “

(PAUSE) and let them talk… or if you have the courage (ASK THIS)
“Can you pinpoint for me what I did specifically that hurt you and our relationship?”

2. DUCT TAPE.

When it’s their turn to talk, SAY NOTHING, other than (Mmm, Hmmm.) As you feel yourself getting defensive, or wanting to prove your point of view, again, SAY NOTHING… just let them air the STORY they never got to, so they can release the PSYCHIC TENSION they have around this situation… (be patient, let them talk…)

3. BE CURIOUS.

The most important part, to anchor in your REAL SINCERITY.
Ask them questions… like… “Tell me more?”
“When you say ____ what do you mean specifically ?”
“Can you explain how you felt when I did this…?”

THE GOAL: KEEP THEM TALKING… (THIS RELEASES THE TENSION) by continuing to ask questions, until they have really nothing else to say, And sincerely, taking the time to really understand their pain, so they AND you, can release any psychic tension that was being held onto.

I feel amazing now, my 3 old friends feel much better, and through this I cleaned the closet of emotional skeletons and judgement I had for them, and judgement I had for myself, for my part (my guilt) in the relationship crashing.

—- Hoping this inspired you, and you have a SCRIPT now —

— Why not, TAKE ACTION to heal at least 1 past relationship —

Pick up the phone, make a call, forgive them, and through that you’ll forgive yourself to the consicous or unconscious thoughts you may still be holding onto!

Wishing you more peace… now.

Joe Syverson

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